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its so upsetting how much you immerse yourself into someone that they mean the world to you and you always put them ahead and you care, you care so much that you’re willing to put your heart on the line. but every single fucking time, i am crushed by the outcome and i’m not talking about a special lover more of my friends here. so god damn frustrating that i’m the black sheep of the herd that i’m really the outcast that i don’t fit in. when i say i’m fine, really, i just want to bash my head against the wall possibly fling my deteriorating body off the cliff, maybe then they’d care. i am so done to the extend that i actually speak in foreign languages and make friends up in my head just to keep myself and my emotions in check even though it costs me my sanity. but whatever, high schools a trial for the real world and god forbid the same thing were to be condemned again so help me i will slice a bitch with my nails